She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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