Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
