I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
