does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize