ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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