Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
