my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
