I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
