Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
