i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
