Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
