winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
