how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
