it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
