She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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