she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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