Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
COCAINE IS GR8
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
