It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
