Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
