Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
