she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
