My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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