So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want to fling myself into the sun
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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