last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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