"it" just moved
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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