I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
