Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
