oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
