Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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