I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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