Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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