He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
