During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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