summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
