oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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