marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
