He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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