dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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