My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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