but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize