using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
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she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
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Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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