Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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