Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
