there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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