As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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