You just made me feel so damn special
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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