The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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