so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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