her vagine was all disorganized.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i dont even know how to be here
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
