are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it's like iHOP with fire
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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