It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
