Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
