Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
