We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
