Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
