It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
