The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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