he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
