Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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