Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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