"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize