Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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